desert rose

i try, how i try to understand
to find myself
through this desert of
ecstasy and despair

i have felt 'God' and the
wonder of it
and then stood aside

is it so difficult to
live with that 'divinity'

where am i in all this

did i once rejoice in losing myself

then what do i try to find

bathed in that pure emotion

blind to all else
how did i lose 'sight'

why these thoughts invasive
try to find ways
to where....

some fleeting glimpse inside
makes it all so simple
once again.. and still

....... that look
at the changing dunes
in terrified 'strangeness'

overcomes the constancy
...... of this breeze

and once again


.... moving on
into the scorching desert
i question

..... the mirage
that helped me
..... survive...